all we want is FREEDOM: Without Title

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Without Title

As I grow older... makin byk cabaran & dugaan. Tak pernah terfikir.. tak pernah rasa yang saya tak dapat close support zahir & emosi. Mak ayah... I really really need you. I miss u. I don't have a true shoulder to cry on. It is my "heart secret". Kalau dulu boleh jek share ngan org2 dekat. Cam best jek rasa release, but I miss that feeling. Love is "not so" around me.

No. I'm not OK.

I never thought that depression will feel like this... or even worst, i don't know. Apa yang saya tahu... now dah semakin kritikal. Memang secara zahirnya tak ada "penyakit serious".. (Alhamdulillah).. atau "penyakit serius" dah pulih... (Alhamdulillah).. dan yg ada sekarang adalah kesan dari yang dulu2. Org boleh suruh saya jadi positif... dan saya boleh jadi positif. Tapi org tak boleh jadi saya... saya pun tak boleh jadi org lain. Mental saya boleh jadi terlebih2 positive sbb Eicha & Dideep. Tapi kenapa budak 2 org ni sepatutnya yang boleh mengubah dunia saya jadi indah, masih tak cukup.

Ya Allah.. kurniakanlah aku ketenangan jiwa, kasih sayang sejati serta kesejahteraan & kebahagiaan dunia & akhirat.

10 comments:

N I N I E said...: rozie, jom sekali skala dtg sini attend motivation & counselling prog :).. at least it wud help to release ur feelings..; 4/22/2010 4:01 AM
iekaz said...: rozie, i seriously dont knw what's your exact problem.. tapi kalau ko need a listening ear, u can always call me n share with me if u dont mind. jgn pk2 sgt k.. mmg semua org ade dugaan... cume bentuk dan cara dugaan tu dtg berbeza.. mmg org kata anak2 bley buat kita jadi positif.. tapi kita cume manusia biasa.. mmg kadang2 it's easier said than done. take care dear..; 4/22/2010 7:01 AM
Azrey Rozie Eiman said...: tq.. tq...

aku rasa cam nak gie holiday luar johor. mancoi tgh arrangekan. dapat sehari dua pun jadilah. kepala aku nie cam serabut & emosi tak menentu. kengkadang happy, kengkadang sedih.

susah nk cakap. sakit serious takde. puas check-up & usaha sana sini. tapi even aku nak berjalan melintas jalan beli makanan depan opis nie pun, nak jatuh n mata gelap. seluruh badan leh tetiba rasa kebas (semut2). esp kalau kebas kat kepala... takut! kebas kat kaki kalau dok lama tu biasalah. nie kat kepala, kaki, perut, etc. semlm kepala cam rasa kena toreh ngan pisau. sakit & pedih semcm. sakit.. Insya Allah aku boleh tahan tapi bila aku risau & kurang support in emosi, tu yg buat aku down. Insya Allah aku pulih nanti... aku harap2 yg terbaik aje dari-Nya.

ninie.. byk ke program gitu? kalau ade info send kat FB eh. kalau free leh la aku pegi.; 4/22/2010 9:18 AM
LITTLE DEWA said...: rozie
every time aku bc your heart pour, i cant help but feel sedih sgt... i know how it is having lost both parents. at times sgt rindu, rindu yg xde batas, neverending... but hang in there ok. insyaAllah, our parents pon are there s'where, happy, smiling down at us, wishing us all the happiness the world could ever give 2 us & our family :) hold on 2 tis, insyaAllah u'll feel better... i do tis all the time, picturing them in heaven, all healthy & happy & great!
beb, btul kate ikek... kite sume ade ujian, bahagian masing2 & cara kite diuji x sama... but we still have each other & we love each other, that is wat matters.
u take care. i wish i could be there wit u guys... i wish 4 tis all the time :)

mane tau nnt berbesan? hehehe. sudi x? :p; 4/22/2010 10:31 AM
Azrey Rozie Eiman said...: thanks wie. aku pun cuba kuatkan diri & semangat. i can; 4/22/2010 4:30 PM
linj said...: babe, though i might not as close as the others to you, i heart you, babe.

take care of urself...what Allah take back those who are lent, He will give back another. be strong... i always wish the best for my friends.; 4/22/2010 6:45 PM
Azrey Rozie Eiman said...: thanks lin; 4/23/2010 4:10 AM
N I N I E said...: rozie, mmg byk prog kat sini.. & FOC.. part kaunseling tu pun(if u were to attend), FOC.. insyaallah aku update ko klu prog sesuai yer.. :); 4/26/2010 4:10 AM
Azrey Rozie Eiman said...: tq ninie; 4/26/2010 10:53 AM
deana sofia said...: i know, it is easier said than done, but u really-really-really need to be strong beb. bersabarlah menghadapi setiap dugaan kerana sesungguhnya Allah tidak menurunkan dugaan melainkan setakat yang mampu ditangani oleh hambaNya... wish u all d happiness in d world, buddy.; 4/30/2010 6:57 PM